February 2008

On this very day I fell apart
Before heaven
On a sandy knee
Knowing that the desert
Isn't where I want to be
I have been here long enough
Father
I am ready for the oasis
To become reality
To drink the wine, the water
Straight from your cup
Instead of only dreaming
Of the day
The rain will come
I would like to ask you all
To forgive me
For giving in so many times
Time and Time again
I just don't have any strength left
To continue with the burden on my own
But I know
In the end
The only thing worth fighting for
Aching for
Debating for
Screaming for
Awaking in the morning for...

Is Heaven
And the friend who awaits us
Let these pages server as a reminder
That the deepest pit is only a lesson
To prove that eternity
Is on the horizon.

How can we complain? How can we say it shouldn't be like this? We started it. You can't blame anything else but you and all your friends. Not only them, but the rest of us, all of us.

How can you accomplish anything without recognizing God? In yourself you are nothing. Goals are to be accomplished but what is something that ends in stalemate. Fruitless endeavor.

Our minds are controlled. The sources have out-sourced and won. Together we try and band, unite or rally. Accomplishing little and tripping over our own feet. The ball is rolling and the hill gets longer.

There is no making sense of this. We are so distorted. Beyond the rope of safety and sanity. Will we ever get out. No... We won't, is that ok? It has been. You've survived but, why?

There's safety in the Light. There are goals but not our goals. Throw away the pointless deeds of self. Stop listening to the gods of this earthly desert. Freedom is quite the opposite of what they feed you.

Just listen to It. Hear past the fake commercial buzz. Past the plastic sounds and the glass windows. I hope we find what we need. It's not very far. You could be close.

Irrelevant , pointless. Why do they ask, come on. This isn't important. There is more to deal with here. Talk all you want but you are wasting my time, our time. Considering this is so important to you, there is no end to discussion. I know you are in the spotlight. You have the floor. But you may abuse the system. This shouldn't have been an option. They listen, you nod and take there answer. What really happened though? Did your question actually get answered? Did they give you the right answer. Is the right answer correct? Beneficial? A step forward? I don't know, we won't know yet. There is time but time is now. Not then, not next quarter, now.

Really. No not really. Are you sure. No not sure. Why not. Well why not. Honestly. Really honestly. Truthfully. Ya, truthfully. Ok. But you don't know. You really don't. They know it all. this note sucks. Ya you know it does. why are you reading this. honestly, really? disregard anything i have said.